Voldemort vs Taleb Deathmatch

With all the hype surrounding the final Harry Potter movie, I thought I would compare Voldemort to Nassim Taleb, financial guru and author of the book “The Black Swan”, to see who is greater. (Plus I thought it might be funny.)

(Removed a really good photo of Voldemort and Taleb)

Place of Birth 

  • Taleb: Amioun, Lebanon (winner)
  • Voldemort: Little Hangleton, England

Middle Name 

  • Taleb: Nicholas
  • Voldemort: Marvolo (winner)


  • Taleb: Doctor (winner)
  • Voldemort: Muggle


  • Taleb: English, French, Arabic Italian, Spanish, Greek, Latin, Aramaic, Hebrew, Canaanite (winner)
  • Voldemort: English and Parseltongue


  • Taleb: University of Paris and University of Pennsylvania (winner)
  • Voldemort: Hogwarts School of  Witchcraft and Wizardry


  • Taleb: Safeguard investors against crises while reaping rewards from rare events
  • Voldemort: Rid the Wizarding world of Muggle heritage and conquering both worlds (winner)

Described As

  • Taleb: “The hottest thinker in the world”
  • Voldemort: “The most evil wizard for hundreds and hundreds of years” (winner)

Considers Himself     

  • Taleb: Epistemologist of randomness
  • Voldemort: Greatest Legilimens in the world and a highly accomplished Occlumens (winner)


  • Taleb: Dark Lord
  • Voldemort: Dark Lord (draw)

Professional Accomplishment

  • Taleb: Pioneer of tail risk hedging or black swan protection (winner)
  • Voldemort: Apparate silently

Health Accomplishment

  • Taleb: Overcame throat cancer
  • Voldemort: Regained his body and was restored to his full power (draw)

What he would see in the Mirror of Erised

  • Taleb: He would see “Himself, all-powerful and eternal.”
  • Voldemort: He would see “Himself, all-powerful and eternal.” (draw)

 His Boggart

  • Taleb: Myron Scholes (winner)
  • Voldemort: His own corpse

With a final score of 6-4, Taleb wins over Voldemort. All hail the Dark Lord.




3 thoughts on “Voldemort vs Taleb Deathmatch

  1. I wouldn’t go so far as saying he was superior, despite his likely belief that he probably is. Glad you enjoyed it.

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