Evacuating the Building Because of a Zombie Infection

To be read in association with the post: “Tips on writing a zombie evacuation memo“.

There are many reasons – including fire or bomb threats – that require us to evacuate the building but it is equally important that we prepare for other threats such as an evacuation because of a zombie infection. You may laugh now, but if you keep reading you may learn a few things that prepare you for the more traditional evacuation emergencies as well.

Imagine for a moment that while at lunch, a colleague is accidentally infected with zombie viruses like Solanum or Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome. You recognize the behavioral patterns of the undead manifesting in the co-worker, and decide it would be best if we evacuated the building before our zombie colleague infects everyone else or eats our brains. So you pull down on the pull station (located beside the four fire escape doors) and the alarm sounds.

Everyone will immediately hear the insert sound of tone. When we hear this tone, JUST GO!

Do not go back to your desk to pick up your possessions or stand around talking to your friends about next steps. JUST GO! (While you may want to arm yourself against the zombie, it is unlikely (and against policy) that you’ll have a machete or crowbar in your desk, so JUST GO!) Besides if there was a fire you shouldn’t be carrying anything in the stairwell. (It’s probably okay to grab your mobile phone so you can contact your family and friends to let them know you evacuated safely.)

Make your way to any of the four fire escape doors on corners of this floor. They all exit onto insert Street. (After reading this zombie preparedness memo, please familiarize yourself with the door closest to your desk, conference room or kitchen.)

Once in stairwell, walk down the insert number of floors as quickly and as safely as you can. Traditionally the undead do not run and have trouble descending stairs; don’t worry about the infected zombie chasing you.

When you get to the street, make your way insert directions to our Designated Assembly Point: the insert description of statue, square or location.

Next, look for your respective Fire Warden/Zombie Warden who will take attendance to make sure everyone left the building safely and/or that no additional zombie infections were recorded. Here’s a current list of wardens by area:

List the names of the fire wardens

After your warden knows everyone made it safely to the assembly point you will be provided with further instructions.

Finally, please make sure you have an Emergency Response Card on you at all times: a business card that illustrates the Designated Assembly Point and includes important phone numbers for you to call in case of an evacuation or emergency. Please ask for an Emergency Response Card at Reception.

If you have any additional questions about evacuations please see (insert your name).