I wish I had included the Tweet while I am doing it with #PBJ. Funny.

Now I know why I don’t like (and have never made a PBJ). But if I were to do so, the steps would be:

1. Stifle the gag reflex as I think about eating a PBJ
2. Go to LinkedIn and crowdsource the recipe with a post
3. Decide to use ISO 31000 and not COSO ERM for the project (under pressure from Arnold and Grant)
4. Build a risk assessment of the process for making a PBJ. Determine that the risks include:
– Getting the wrong PBJ, one that tastes awful
– Getting the wrong Jelly (and learn the difference between Jello, Jelly, and Jam)
- Getting the wrong bread (I assume you need bread for a sandwich)
- Putting too much or too little of something in the mix
- Throwing up as I prepare the sandwich
- Dropping the ***n thing
5. Treat the risks by asking my wife to watch as I shop and then make the sandwich
6. Make the sandwich according to the recipe, with audits on a continuous basis by my wife (an auditor)
7. Tweet as I am doing it, hashtag #PBJ
8. Take a photo of the result and post it on FaceBook
9. Write a blog about the experience
10. Ask Tim to assess the internal controls over PBJ preparation using the COSO Internal Control Framework (and don’t tell me it won’t work, Tim)

Then – throw the stinkin’ thing in the garbage. I still don’t like peanut butter

So here is my Peanut Butter Sandwich:
1) Simple White Bread – I’m still not convinced that all the new fashion fancy bread with the added fibre, vitamins etc is really what we need.
2) Smooth peanut butter – sometimes the nutty ones can get stuck in your teeth – then you spend more time dealing with that than actually eating the sandwich. (A bit like getting caught up in risk models rather than the risk themselves)
3) NO Jelly/Jam – I am an Australian……it’s lucky I’m even using peanut butter and not vegemite…and besides just the one ingredient keeps things simple and easy to understand.
4) Serve up a sample to a few close friends first, hope they like it and tell others about it….. if they don’t …… switch back to vegemite and try to find new ways to make something that everyone already knows about interesting again.