In my third instalment of this increasingly less funny series, we look at how popular auditor and blogger Norman Marks might make a PBJ sandwich.
How to Make a Peanut Butter Sandwich: Norman Marks
- Add jam and peanut butter to bread.
- Perform a self-assessment to determine if that was actually peanut butter, jam and bread.
- Check off boxes.
- Ask Tim Leech if this is an adequate sandwich.
- Draft a new framework about how to make a peanut butter and jam sandwich.
- Solicit input on LinkedIn from others who like peanut butter and jam sandwiches.
- Publish findings in Internal Audit magazine.
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This series on making PBJ’s has made me realise something about my approach to ERM……… I have become happy to just eat someone elses old, somewhat mouldy sandwich…..just because they made it and they must know better than me.
So here is my Peanut Butter Sandwich:
1) Simple White Bread – I’m still not convinced that all the new fashion fancy bread with the added fibre, vitamins etc is really what we need.
2) Smooth peanut butter – sometimes the nutty ones can get stuck in your teeth – then you spend more time dealing with that than actually eating the sandwich. (A bit like getting caught up in risk models rather than the risk themselves)
3) NO Jelly/Jam – I am an Australian……it’s lucky I’m even using peanut butter and not vegemite…and besides just the one ingredient keeps things simple and easy to understand.
4) Serve up a sample to a few close friends first, hope they like it and tell others about it….. if they don’t …… switch back to vegemite and try to find new ways to make something that everyone already knows about interesting again.
This series on making PBJ’s has made me realise something about my approach to ERM……… I have become happy to just eat someone elses old, somewhat mouldy sandwich…..just because they made it and they must know better than me.
So here is my Peanut Butter Sandwich:
1) Simple White Bread – I’m still not convinced that all the new fashion fancy bread with the added fibre, vitamins etc is really what we need.
2) Smooth peanut butter – sometimes the nutty ones can get stuck in your teeth – then you spend more time dealing with that than actually eating the sandwich. (A bit like getting caught up in risk models rather than the risk themselves)
3) NO Jelly/Jam – I am an Australian……it’s lucky I’m even using peanut butter and not vegemite…and besides just the one ingredient keeps things simple and easy to understand.
4) Serve up a sample to a few close friends first, hope they like it and tell others about it….. if they don’t …… switch back to vegemite and try to find new ways to make something that everyone already knows about interesting again.
I’m glad you mentioned the Vegemite. I wanted to write one about the Aussie Ken Simpson but all I could think of was replacing the pb with that vile Vegemite or worse yet, marmite.
I’m glad you mentioned the Vegemite. I wanted to write one about the Aussie Ken Simpson but all I could think of was replacing the pb with that vile Vegemite or worse yet, marmite.
Well, I guess you have given me a compliment with the lampoon.
Now I know why I don’t like (and have never made a PBJ). But if I were to do so, the steps would be:
1. Stifle the gag reflex as I think about eating a PBJ
2. Go to LinkedIn and crowdsource the recipe with a post
3. Decide to use ISO 31000 and not COSO ERM for the project (under pressure from Arnold and Grant)
4. Build a risk assessment of the process for making a PBJ. Determine that the risks include:
– Getting the wrong PBJ, one that tastes awful
– Getting the wrong Jelly (and learn the difference between Jello, Jelly, and Jam)
– Getting the wrong bread (I assume you need bread for a sandwich)
– Putting too much or too little of something in the mix
– Throwing up as I prepare the sandwich
– Dropping the ***n thing
5. Treat the risks by asking my wife to watch as I shop and then make the sandwich
6. Make the sandwich according to the recipe, with audits on a continuous basis by my wife (an auditor)
7. Tweet as I am doing it, hashtag #PBJ
8. Take a photo of the result and post it on FaceBook
9. Write a blog about the experience
10. Ask Tim to assess the internal controls over PBJ preparation using the COSO Internal Control Framework (and don’t tell me it won’t work, Tim)
Then – throw the stinkin’ thing in the garbage. I still don’t like peanut butter
Well, I guess you have given me a compliment with the lampoon.
Now I know why I don’t like (and have never made a PBJ). But if I were to do so, the steps would be:
1. Stifle the gag reflex as I think about eating a PBJ
2. Go to LinkedIn and crowdsource the recipe with a post
3. Decide to use ISO 31000 and not COSO ERM for the project (under pressure from Arnold and Grant)
4. Build a risk assessment of the process for making a PBJ. Determine that the risks include:
– Getting the wrong PBJ, one that tastes awful
– Getting the wrong Jelly (and learn the difference between Jello, Jelly, and Jam)
– Getting the wrong bread (I assume you need bread for a sandwich)
– Putting too much or too little of something in the mix
– Throwing up as I prepare the sandwich
– Dropping the ***n thing
5. Treat the risks by asking my wife to watch as I shop and then make the sandwich
6. Make the sandwich according to the recipe, with audits on a continuous basis by my wife (an auditor)
7. Tweet as I am doing it, hashtag #PBJ
8. Take a photo of the result and post it on FaceBook
9. Write a blog about the experience
10. Ask Tim to assess the internal controls over PBJ preparation using the COSO Internal Control Framework (and don’t tell me it won’t work, Tim)
Then – throw the stinkin’ thing in the garbage. I still don’t like peanut butter
Glad Norman Marks appreciated it. After all, he was in good company with the other PBJ makers.
I wish I had included the Tweet while I am doing it with #PBJ. Funny.
Glad Norman Marks appreciated it. After all, he was in good company with the other PBJ makers.
I wish I had included the Tweet while I am doing it with #PBJ. Funny.